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Boundaries PBC

"When we value something enough, we protect it." Black

Boundary Definition

  • “How can we expect people to put value on our work when we don’t value ourselves enough to set and hold uncomfortable boundaries? Brown (2015) Rising Strong, pg. 115

  • Compassionate people have boundaries that combat resentment.

  • One thing that was the common denominator was boundaries with SHAME Resilient people.


Why they are needed

  • Values—Priorities, moral code

  • Value Self—You treasure your needs

  • Respect—Empowering, safety

  • Results—Assertive, teach, model, secure, loved

  • Prevention—Of burnout, passive behavior, and emotional pain

  • No battles—Boundaries, reduce battles

  • Delay of Gratification—A must

10 Ways

  1. Be assertive with Body language, call it what it is, I feel/I need statements

  2. Know your value system

  3. Know your Secondary Emotion

  4. Be present-FFF does not work

  5. Give yourself permission

  6. Go by patterns not potential

  7. Know self-care needs

  8. Know when your values have been crossed

  9. Know your rights

  10. Repeat

Boundaries are NOT to...

  • To fix, change, or punish the receiver or giver

  • For the receiver or violator to blame, shame, label, or guilt trip

  • To be ignored

  • To be aggressive or passive

  • Impersonal

  • Against your value system

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